During young adulthood, suffering was not on my personal radar screen. That was something that happened to other people, usually older and probably not very close to Christ. I had more important things on my mind. My beautiful wife was doing a great job taking care of our growing family which left me free to focus on developing excellence in ministry. When she wanted to talk about prophetic events, I had a ready answer: “Honey, God has called me to teach people how to successfully live while on earth!” I now realize that she was too sweet to tell me what she thought of my ignorance. Embracing suffering was not part of my thinking. In fact, looking back, I would have seen toleration of suffering, in most circumstances, as unnecessary.
When I was thirty-five years old, I was introduced to the first of three seasons of suffering that have defined my life and continue to this very day. On July 27, 1978, my youngest son, four days before his seventh birthday, was killed by a car in front of my house. In 1994 -1995, I went through 18 months of depression. And now, for nearly 17 years, I have watched as Dementia has moved from being an insignificant inconvenience to a disease that is robbing the love of my life of her personality and will eventually take her life. Let me emphatically note that God did not take my son’s life; he was not responsible for my depression; and he did not give Linda Alzheimer’s. All three result from living in a fallen world; however, God, in his infinite wisdom, did allow each of them to touch me, my wife and my family.
The first two seasons of suffering greatly differ from the last one in that Linda and I shared our pain and provided comfort to each other. That was also true in this present season until the last six years. At that time, I then moved into the role of caregiver and the Holy Spirit has become my best friend; not suddenly, but incrementally as I have grasped:
- My life is inextricably connected to God by his love: “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them” (I John 4:16 NIV).
- God has a plan for my life: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV).
- Suffering is to be embraced and not seen as an enemy to spirituality: “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us” (Romans 5:3-5 NIV).
I am certainly not implying that my life is now a bowl of cherries and everything is on cruise control. There are still many days when I am reduced to sobbing and crying out to God that I can not take it for another moment. The beautiful thing is that those times are followed by a profound awareness that I am not alone and that God will never leave me to my own devices.
By the way, Linda, when she was still able to dialogue with me, was very pleased to know that I now realize that it is impossible to teach people how to successfully live while on earth, unless we are constantly aware that our lives on earth are transient in light of eternity.
Ron Harvard Ministries 