In the fall of 2003, I noticed incipient signs that things were not quite right with Linda’s memory. In the ensuing years I chronicled what I observed, what physicians said, the suffering that she and I endured, and ultimately the awareness that God was doing something wonderful in our lives.
Around 2017, I began to share tidbits of the journey with three persons who are very near and dear to me. Each of them, unaware of what the others were saying, urged me to recognize that our story should be shared with the body of Christ, especially those who are at various stages of a similar journey.
My first blog was published on August 2, 2020 and Linda went home to be with her Lord on May 23, 2023. The 149 blogs that were published during this time cover a nearly 20-year journey. They are now archived and available for viewing.
Continuing Our Legacy
Last Monday, my granddaughter Taylor sent me a note: “Throughout the weekend, I have continued to think about Grandma and the memories I have of her. I’ve thought about how my girls won’t know her in the same way… I jotted down my thoughts and reflections to put in their memory boxes so they will always…
Safe in the Arms of Jesus
In last Sunday’s blog, I noted: “Linda is in the process of passing and will probably be in the arms of Jesus before the weekend is over.” That did not prove to be the case. Once again, she demonstrated the unpredictability that has defined our journey from the very beginning of her sickness, and passed…
Completing Our Journey
My thoughts today will be very brief. Linda is in the process of passing and will probably be in the arms of Jesus before the weekend is over. The picture accompanying today’s blog depicts my feelings. I am releasing the hand of the love of my life with the full assurance that I will see…
Putting the Pieces Together
As I sit by Linda’s bedside, directly in my sightline, just above her head a framed plaque, containing one of her life scriptures, reminds me of the essence of her being and the culmination of her hopes and dreams: Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.My flesh and…
Hitting a Moving Target
Throughout our journey into the “Long Goodbye,” trying to determine at any given time where Linda is in her struggle with Alzheimer’s could be compared to the complexities of hitting a moving target. Notes compiled from my journal illustrate this assertion: October 16, 2017 – Just before noon, Linda was transported from Erlanger North to what…
Standing on the Edge of Eternity
Today’s blog was originally published under a different title on September 5, 2021. With a few minor changes, I am reprinting it in its entirety. My wife Linda is nearing the end of her long struggle with Alzheimer’s. Therefore, I feel compelled to share what I have learned with caregivers who are just beginning the…
Choosing Hope
Sometimes, all of us face a challenge so great that the chasm between hope and hopelessness seems insurmountable — with no way over, around, or through. The solution to this predicament is found in a simple principle: Two opposing cognitions cannot be held over time — either hope or hopelessness must go. When I choose…
Continuing to Grow
Prior to Linda’s developing Alzheimer’s, I thought I was prepared to help others understand what happens between birth and death. However, after helplessly watching normal growth and development be reversed as she has slowly moved toward infancy, I am humbled by how little I know! At this point in our journey into the “Long Goodbye,”…
He is Risen!
When I prepare to celebrate the glorious resurrection of Christ, an unusual, conflicting memory often surfaces: I was between eight and ten years old, Sunday School was over, and I, along with a group of boys, was preparing to march inside and be a part of “Big Church.” And, then it happened! With the sun…
Dealing with Uncertainty (part 3)
In last week’s blog, I noted that long-term caregivers to those who suffer from various forms of dementia constantly struggle with uncertainty: What will I face next? How can I meet the needs of my loved one without destroying myself in the process? Why do I sometimes feel as if I am riding an emotional…
Dealing with Uncertainty (part 2)
Long-term caregivers to those who suffer from various forms of dementia constantly struggle with uncertainty: What will I face next? How can I meet the needs of my loved one without destroying myself in the process? Why do I sometimes feel as if I am riding an emotional roller coaster? Is it normal to feel…
Dealing with Uncertainty (part 1)
Even though it has often been said that a picture is worth a thousand words, seldom do I find one that encapsulates my feelings, as well as the reality of my spiritual foundation. The picture accompanying today’s blog does both: In the natural realm, I am immersed in uncertainty and feel so alone; however, God…
Praying the Psalms
Three days ago, while having morning devotions with Linda, I enjoyed a wonderful encounter with God. Before sharing the details, let me first discuss my tumultuous introduction to the Psalms. In my twenties, I knew that the Psalms were important because they are quoted more in the New Testament than any other Old Testament book;…
What’s Next?
Before addressing today’s topic, I am going to revisit the cardinal issue around which last week’s blog was built. My reason for doing so will soon be very apparent. In writing a second letter to a group of persons who might be prone to wander away from doctrinal integrity and moral purity during times of…
Finding Hidden Treasures
The Apostle Paul, who suffered greatly while on earth, provided remarkable insight into what motivated him to continue to move forward in the midst of overwhelming adversity: That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last…
Dying
During nearly four decades of pastoring, my ability to comfort those who were facing death was sometimes hindered by sincere, well-intentioned persons who insisted that we can remain healthy until God calls us home. Such a view point denies the medical reality that more often than not, death is a painful process, as well as…
Living in the Present (part 3)
Upon beginning this three-part series, I noted that the obvious intentionality etched on Linda’s face in the accompanying picture, which was taken on January 13, was at odds with so much that has transpired since that time. I had no idea how quickly that comparison would be rendered obsolete. Today, I will share my thoughts under…
Living in the Present (part 2)
In last week’s blog, I noted that Linda’s struggle with Alzheimer’s has taught me how to successfully live in the present. Before then, my greatest hinderance was erroneously connecting my personal joy with the circumstances surrounding me — good times equal great joy, tough times equal great despair. Over time, in the crucible of suffering,…
Living in the Present (part 1)
Individuals who are able to correctly conceptualize the relationship between the past, present, and future are positioned to live joyful and productive lives; however, all too often this desirable and achievable goal is short-circuited by the time trap: an unhealthy tendency to live in the past or rush toward the future at breakneck speed. Throughout…
Reversing Human Development
In last week’s blog, I noted that the development of meaningful communication is a lifelong process, and an orderly progression in the development of spoken language can be observed: “Words are associated with objects, places or persons. Sentences slowly develop as more objects, places or persons are included. Comprehension occurs when concepts and ideals enter the equation.” Today,…
Straying from the Path Is Not Wise
I am fascinated by the message depicted in the picture accompanying today’s blog. This couple is obviously intent on making sure they do not stray from the correct path and wind up at the wrong destination. In so many ways, they represent the approach to life that Linda and I adopted early in our marriage.…
Restoring Hope in 2023
Linda and I always enjoyed the excitement of the Christmas holidays. Her creative spontaneity provided the impetus for a joyous break from our demanding schedules. In the early years, we alternated between visiting my parents in Florida and her parents in the North. After the children were old enough to enjoy the winter sports, we…
Fulfilling His Promises
After retiring from the pastorate in 2012, Linda and I had six years to prepare for the time in which she would become a resident in the Memory Care Unit at Legacy Village in Cleveland, Tennessee. We spent a significant amount of that time developing a more intimate relationship with Christ, defining the core values…
Reviewing Precious Memories
Sixty years ago today, Linda was in Kentucky and I was in Florida. Even though we were on Christmas break, our thoughts kept returning to what had just happened at a small college in Cleveland, Tennessee. After ignoring each other for a year and a half, in the two weeks before leaving campus, we had…
Birthday 2022
With the exception of minor editing, changes in dates, and the accompanying picture, today’s blog is the same one that I published on Linda’s two preceding birthdays. I cannot improve the message. In four days, Linda will be 82. On our first date, I was 19 and she was 21. Over the years, our age…
Surviving Grief and Loss
At this time in Western Culture, as we witness an unprecedented erosion of biblical values, it is easy for followers of Christ to feel like the man highlighted in the picture accompanying today’s blog — alone in a desert place with no hope of finding a way forward! Facing grief and loss exponentially exacerbates these…
Staying the Course
Today’s blog, with minor revisions, was first published on September 5, 2021: As a long-term primary caregiver to my wonderful wife Linda, I am often asked by those who are just beginning the journey how to prepare for victory and avoid defeat. My answer begins with a simplistic assertion: “Far more important than how many…
Reassessing the Journey
As Linda and I continue our journey through the “Long Goodbye,” the picture accompanying today’s blog evokes feelings with which I am very familiar, and am experiencing at this very moment! Since becoming a primary caregiver to my wonderful wife, I never remember being absolutely certain that I knew what was coming next; however, I…
Overwhelming Gratitude
In four days, we will celebrate Thanksgiving. As this special day draws near, I am so appreciative of forgiveness of my sins, establishment of a new identity in Him, and a certain hope of spending eternity in Heaven. This year, as I helplessly watch Alzheimer’s relentless quest to consume Linda’s personhood and ultimately take her…
Taking the Next Step
Jesus, in describing the intimate relationship that He has with His children, makes a profound statement: “I am the Good Shepherd and know my own sheep, and they know me…” (John 10:14 TLB). For those of us who know Him as Lord, this provides wonderful assurance and comfort. At the same time, there are less obvious factors…
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