As a result of the terrible pandemic that we are living through, I am only able to communicate with Linda through Face Time or window visits. Most of the time, she seems to know me or at least understand that I am someone special in her life. However, last Thursday, she unexpectedly gave me a very special gift. Before I share the details, let me provide some background. Prior to our four-minute visit, her nurse shared with me that Linda had been tearful throughout the day. Therefore, after greeting her with my usual “Hello Beautiful,” and bantering for a few moments, I sang, to the tune of The Yellow Rose of Texas, “Folks may talk of Clementine and sing of Rosalie, but the beautiful girl from Richmond, Kentucky, is the only girl for me.” I followed this by teasing her about the love letters that long ago she had written to me from the front porch of that old home on Big Hill Avenue. By that time, all remnants of the tears had been replaced by her beautiful smile. Then came the surprise gift: She gently laid her head against the image of my face on the screen of the iPhone. Here is why that gesture is so precious to me: Throughout our marriage, when words could not adequately convey the tenderness and love that we felt for each other, we gently touched our foreheads together. Over our many years together, this gesture has been repeated countless times; however, none ever meant what this one did. Even though she now struggles to verbally express her thoughts, I knew that she was, at that moment, feeling the same genuine and deep love that has defined our marriage.
Looking Back
Throughout the Bible God gives us stories. When properly understood, they reveal a plan for courageously facing the future. By looking at the past, we are able to successfully walk through whatever obstacles, known and unknown, lie ahead. A great example of this is found in 2 Chronicles 20. King Jehoshaphat, facing an impossible situation, prayed a short prayer which ended with a declaration of faith: “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you” (vs.12b NIV). Since the fall of 2003, only God knows how many times I have expressed similar sentiments to him. Between our first experience with this horrible disease and last Thursday’s gift; a tortuous, twisting series of events have unfolded that I have often described as hell without the flames. Here is a brief timeline:
2003 – 2006: Linda’s first observable signs of memory difficulties began about three months before her sixty- third birthday and there was an almost imperceptible change over the next three years. During that time, her symptoms could best be described as a minor inconvenience.
2007-2009: I noticed that when we attended movies, she had trouble following the story line; paying bills and balancing the checkbook became an overwhelming task; and preparing her teaching outlines required far greater effort.
2010-2012: Linda and I retired from the pastorate on July 15, 2012. The preceding two and one half years were a very stressful time for me. At church, I shielded her from any situation that would cause her embarrassment. And, at the same time, I tried to be sensitive to her frustration and unwillingness to seek medical help.
In Looking Back – Walking Forward (part 2), which will be posted next week, I will chronicle the events which are, in my mind, tantamount to the eruption of a spiritual atomic bomb.
Walking Forward
For now, I want to end on a positive note by returning to the story of King Jehoshaphat which I referenced above. God did not abandon him. Instead, a plan for victory was revealed. At first glance, it can best be described as absurd: His army was to march into battle with the singers out front. The end results are amazing: “As they began to sing and praise, the Lord set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they were defeated” (vs. 22 NIV). Today, when believers are facing great difficulty, King Jehoshaphat’s declaration of faith and God’s revealed plan of action provide a workable pattern to follow. On October 1, 2018, Linda moved into The Harbor at Legacy Village of Cleveland. The wonderful things that have transpired since that time are a testament to the fact that God is still active in the lives of his people. He has not left me to my own devices!
Ron Harvard Ministries 