Growing up, my father taught me that failure was not acceptable. Unfortunately, I developed a self-sufficient mentality which resulted in trying to solve the problems of life in my own strength. Fortunately, long before I desperately began searching for a way to help Linda, The Lord had shown me a better way: “…This is what the Lord says to Zerubbabel: It is not by force nor by strength, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies” (Zechariah 4:6 NLT).
In last week’s blog, I candidly discussed the challenges that I was facing and my search for a successful solution. I had no idea that things were about to get much worse. This week, I will focus upon three issues: Linda’s increasing confusion and frustration, inadequacy of the medical community to provide relief, and the chaos descending on my world. Then, I will end by outlining God’s timeless path to victory.
Linda’s Increasing Confusion and Frustration
My journal entries from December 10, 2017, depict her confusion and frustration. Between breakfast and lunch, she:
- Repeatedly asked if it was time to take the Christmas tree down, went outside and took off down the street in 28-degree temperature
- Told me she was tired of people following her and wanted to be alone
- Asked probing questions: What is wrong with me? Why don’t you ever speak to me? How long will I live? What can be done? Why doesn’t God take me?
- Contemplated the sovereignty of God and expressed a desire to go to be with him before she forgot everyone
Inadequacy of the Medical Community to Provide Relief
Her geriatric psychiatrist, in trying to prepare me for what was ahead, emphasized:
- “She will fail to recognize you more and more.”
- “If she does not scare off the caregivers, she will become more aggressive in rejecting them.”
- “She is aware things are not right, but cannot clearly process and respond. It will become increasingly worse.”
Nearly three months earlier, her doctors at the clinic had ordered a very expensive test for Autoimmune Limbic Encephalitis. The blood drawn was lost in a comedy of errors and Linda had to go through the process again. When the results finally arrived in December, they were negative.
In the midst of the inadequacy, God wonderfully blessed us through a behavioral care nurse, who had been assigned to visit our home each week. She decoded the jumble of conflicting reports and suggested possible questions to address with Linda’s doctors. In the months ahead, she proved to be a breath of fresh air.
The Chaos Descending on My World
Up to this point, my paid and volunteer caregivers had been there to help me through all the storms. That was about to change:
- On Christmas Eve, I had to terminate one of the caregivers who had been with us since May.
- My oldest daughter, while skating with her family during Christmas celebrations, fell and broke both wrists.
- My youngest daughter developed a severe infection and laryngitis.
- While trying to prepare my classes for the upcoming semester and take care of Linda at the same time, I did not realize that she had put a stack of cookies in the microwave. Very quickly, the smell of burnt sugar filled the house.
God’s Timeless Path to Victory
As would be expected, I was very tempted to wonder if God had forsaken me. Thankfully, he reminded me of Psalm 23 which clearly outlined a path to victory, for both Linda and me:
We have been given everything necessary for his will to be accomplished in our lives.
“The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need” (vs. 1 NLT).
Free from all fear, we can rest.
“He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams) (vs. 2 NLT).
When we are overwhelmed, he will renew us through his great power.
“He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name” (vs. 3 NLT).
Regardless of the enormity of the difficulty, he is with us.
“Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me” (vs. 4 NLT).
He will bless us in the very midst of every trial and painful circumstance.
“You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings” (vs. 5. NLT).
God’s blessings are upon us now and, someday, we will be with him forever.
“Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever” (vs. 6. NLT).
Ron Harvard Ministries 