Ninety-seven years after Robert Frost wrote Nothing Gold Can Stay, literary critics still have conflicting opinions as to his intent. It seems to me he is responding to his own grief and family tragedy, which included the loss of two of his six children:

Nature’s first green is gold, 

Her hardest hue to hold.

Her early leaf’s a flower; 

But only so an hour.

So Eden sank to grief,

So dawn goes down to day.

Then leaf subsides to leaf. 

Nothing gold can stay.

Hold on to that thought! I shall revisit it at the end of this blog, which covers August 2019.

Confusing Messages

As I previously noted, “Linda is being carried along, as if by the current of a strong river.”  Excerpts from my journal depict the continuing changes in the flow:

• “While we were watching television, she told me she liked me better than anyone she knew. Later, she wanted to know if I could marry her. Near the end of our visit, she told me her husband was not available when she needed him.”

• “Linda seemed distant and did not want to talk with me. She said I was too old for her.”

• “We had a great time watching Andy Griffin reruns. When I got ready to go, she took both of my hands in hers and kissed me on the lips.”

• “We talked about how good God had been to us.  At one point, she closed her eyes and thanked God for the wonderful man he had given her – VERY PRECIOUS TO ME!”

Unexpected Pain

After earlier responses by the staff to Linda’s complaints of pain in her bottom, she had to use the restroom while I was visiting. Upon finishing, when assisting with cleaning, I noticed blood streaming from a spot near her rectum. Consultation between the Resident Service Director and her Primary Care Provider resulted in a decision to take her to the Emergency Room. The attending physician determined she had an abscessed cyst.  Blood work and a CT scan were ordered to measure the level of infection and depth of the cyst. The concern was that it might have expanded into the rectum. Fortunately, that was not the case. Therefore, the cyst had to be lanced and cleaned out. The impact of taking a person suffering from dementia out of a familiar environment and subjecting them to examinations, injections, diagnostic machines and, worst of all, the pain of a scalpel cutting into a very private and sensitive part of the body is hard to explain. My written summary says it best:

•   “During those long hours in the hospital, Linda asked the same questions over and over. She could not understand where she was or why she was there.”

•  “In the midst of the mental fog, in the depths of her spirit, she seemed to grasp in a very unique way that I was special to her.”

•  “She was in great pain, as the doctor made the incision and drained the infection. I held her hand and assured her this had to be done for her to get better; she shook her head in agreement.”

• “Numerous times during the night she reached for my hand, told me she loved me and, on one occasion, said I was her sweetheart.”

God’s presence and timing were evident in the surgical procedure and follow-up treatment. Were there any glitches? Yes. Were the issues resolved? Yes. During Linda’s stay at Legacy Village, I have refined three guidelines which are helpful when seeking the best care for a loved one:

• Be observant, be involved, ask questions, seek answers and demonstrate that you want to be part of the team.

• If a problem occurs, focus on finding a solution and avoid the temptation to merely place blame. 

• Express thanks and give compliments! In our culture, they are often in short supply!

Making Sense of Life

Life only makes sense when viewed through the lens of a biblical worldview. The eight lines of Frost’s poem inspire me to look beyond the present and cling to the promises set forth by the Apostle Paul: 

For now (in this time of imperfection) we see in a mirror dimly (a blurred reflection, a riddle, an enigma), but then (when the time of perfection comes, we will see reality) face to face. Now I know in part (just in fragments), but then I will know fully, just as I have been fully known (by God) (I Corinthians 13:12 AMP).

So you see, just as death came into the world through a man, now the resurrection from the dead has begun through another man. Just as everyone dies because we all belong to Adam, everyone who belongs to Christ will be given new life (I Corinthians 15:21-22 NLT).