The Apostle Paul, who suffered greatly while on earth, provided remarkable insight into what motivated him forward in the midst of overwhelming adversity:
That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the trouble we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever (2 Corinthians 4: 16-18 NLT).
Even though I have spent my adult life seeking to understand, and share with others, the correlation between our time on earth and our eternal destiny; nothing has taught me as much as watching Linda live out the final chapter of her life on earth. In the last two weeks, the learning curve has been steep.
Obvious Confusion
My visit on February 20 was very difficult:
- She was unable to stay focused for more than a few moments at a time. Even though our time together was brief, she returned to her group four times and promptly came back to me.
- At the end, while the caregiver was trying to get me out the door, she was again coming down the hall. Rather than disturb her more, I waved goodbye and left. The absent look, while she waved, brought back memories of her stay at the Geri Psych unit in October 2017.
That night, I wrote in my journal: “It is very hard to see Linda as she was today! I must continually take my sorrow to the Lord. Praying in the Spirit allows me to go forward and not collapse.”
My visit on February 21 was at the other end of the spectrum:
- Upon arriving, she took her little foam bat which she uses to hit the balloon during game time, playfully punched me through the opening and said, “Hello Baby!” I responded by expressing delight and greeted her with “Hello Beautiful!”
- We had a wonderful 30-minute meeting: I told her several stories, sang snippets of love songs and several favorites from the old Red Back Hymnal. At one point, with great feeling, she said: “I love you!”
My journal entry sums it up: “Even though today’s visit could not have been more different than yesterday’s, it would be a mistake to think that she truly knew me. For example, she asked if I had a husband. When I told her no, but I had a wife – Linda Fay Johnson Harvard, there was not the immediate recognition of just a few months ago. A Better way to describe it: She knows I am someone special and there are brief glimpses of our relationship; however, she no longer, even briefly, returns to my world.”
Increasing Clarity
Recently, the hairdresser @ Legacy Village sent me a picture of Linda after a shampoo and styling. I immediately responded: “Thank you for keeping her hair beautiful!”
She sent back a message that deeply touched me “…while the group was watching old Christian songs being sung on television, the Activities Director and I were talking nearby. Linda nicely let us know we were talking too loudly and she couldn’t hear the music. She then resumed singing and knew every word of the song. Isn’t it amazing that she may forget a lot of things, but she doesn’t forget the Savior?
…none of them have forgotten Jesus. They may not know their age, may forget a husband, wife or kids; but they don’t forget the one who matters most – Jesus! You have no idea how much your wife and others witness to me and bless my soul. Thank you for allowing me to make her feel pampered.”
A Meaningful Pictorial
Each week, I spend a considerable amount of time selecting a picture that highlights the intent of my thoughts. This week’s offering, found at the top of the blog, captivated my imagination: As the ocean sweeps over them, the footprints in the sand grow less visible and suddenly end. For a little over eighty years, Linda has left very distinct footprints as she has faithfully moved toward her eternal destiny. Someday they will end; however, life will take on greater meaning than she has ever known: All effects of aging will be reversed and confusion will forever disappear. She will experience what she sang about as a girl in Gary, Indiana:
I have heard of a land on the far away strand,
’Tis a beautiful home of the soul;
Built by Jesus on high, there we never shall die,
’Tis a land where we never grow old.
Ron Harvard Ministries 