Facing Tough Times

Growing up in poverty, having her first-born child die in her arms, and surviving the Great Depression created within my mother the capacity to define life in understandable terms. When speaking of people who were facing tough times, she would say, “They are caught between a rock and a hard place!” As a child, I didn’t understand the metaphor; however, I surely knew I wanted to avoid such times. Later, as I grew in my understanding of life, I began to realize that God uses trouble as a means of developing spiritual maturity. Paul clearly outlines the process: 

Salvation is by Faith.

Our faith in Jesus transfers God’s righteousness to us and he now declares us flawless in his eyes. This means we can now enjoy true and lasting peace with God, all because of what our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One, has done for us. Our faith guarantees us permanent access into this marvelous kindness that has given us a perfect relationship with God. What incredible joy bursts forth within us as we keep on celebrating our hope of experiencing God’s glory (Romans 5:1,2 TPT)!

Character is Developed.

But that’s not all! Even in times of trouble we have a joyful confidence, knowing that our pressure will develop in us patient endurance. And patient endurance will refine our character, and proven character leads us back to hope (Romans 5:3,4 TPT).  

• On June 21, 2018, well into my journey as a caregiver to my precious wife, fearing the progression of Alzheimer’s, and aware that ultimately the disease would take her life; I asked God two questions: What will I do without Linda? How will I survive? After reading Psalms 26-30, the Lord impressed upon my heart that I must change my focus from me (my loss) to her (Linda’s gain).

• In the past seven days, I have struggled to keep my spiritual equilibrium: Personally, suffering from a urinary tract infection, the worst allergies I have ever experienced, and the breakdown of my refrigerator; it has been hard for me to see light at the end of the tunnel.

• In last week’s blog, I noted that the nurses at Legacy Village and Linda’s Primary Care Provider agreed the disease is progressing and a new regimen was put into place to determine if incontinence is an emerging issue: During waking hours, she is taken to the restroom every two hours and before bedtime. It was hoped that this would provide a definitive answer; however, when the caregiver awakened her on Friday, she had soiled her clothes. The goal for her to remain independent as long as possible is now a wait and see proposition.

Hope is Vibrant.

And this hope is not a disappointing fantasy, because we can now experience the endless love of God cascading into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who lives in us (Romans 5:5 TPT)!

• Changing my focus from me (my loss) to her (Linda’s gain) required a willingness to completely submit her to the Lord. Honestly, in the nearly three years that have passed since receiving those instructions, I have often taken two steps forward and one step backward. In large part, this can be attributed to two factors: First, in an Alzheimer’s patient, the progression of the disease seldom follows a steady downward trajectory. Instead, there are plateaus and even brief interludes when it seems that improvement is occurring. Secondly, much like the proverbial frog in a pot of boiling water, caregivers can become desensitized to the changing condition of their loved one and deny the obvious.

• For some time, I have prayed that God would spare both Linda and me from seeing this awful disease ultimately take her life. Just yesterday, as we sang about Heaven, she expressed her desire to go live with Jesus. As for me, rather than seeing further loss of her dignity and an inability to recognize me, it would be easier to know that she will never be confused again.

• If God allows her to die of Alzheimer’s, I have a plan in place: Matt Redman, in Bless the Lord, sums up conversations Linda and I had while she was still able to process with me: