The picture accompanying today’s blog provides a glimpse into the personality and accomplishments of my wonderful wife to whom I have been married for nearly fifty-eight years. It was recently taken on National Mac and Cheese Day and Linda, properly attired, had been chosen to hold the ingredients while the Activities Director mixed them. They were then baked in an oven designed to remind the residents of the one that been in their homes while growing up. My response to the caring lady leading this celebration sums up my appreciation: “Thank you so much for all you do to make life meaningful for Linda! Only in eternity will you be able to grasp how great your ministry has been!!! Hold this thought in your mind while I share a brief summary of our journey in three segments:
As a Homemaker
Linda loves festivities. Prior to Alzheimer’s, this was always evident. Over time, decorating the Christmas tree evolved from a family event in which all our children participated to a one-woman work of art prepared in eager anticipation for their arrival back home. A similar tradition unfolded on all the other major holidays. Wonderful meals, often prepared using her mother’s recipes, were a much-anticipated finale. During their early school years when they arrived home each day, a spotlessly clean house and a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies awaited them. Now, living alone and struggling to complete a portion of her regular routine, I marvel at how she was able to make it all happen with such precision.
In the Work of Ministry
Linda grew up wanting to marry a minister; and during nearly forty years of pastoring, she was my constant partner. I never remember a time when she was not involved in some type of discipleship, mostly in the children’s ministry; however, her most important contribution was being the “wind beneath my wings.” During my struggles with depression, she was a source of cheer and encouragement.
Both of us have been lifelong learners. Before computers became commonplace, while finishing my first graduate degree, Linda, on more than one occasion, sat at the end of the kitchen table and typed out research papers well into the early morning hours, as I completed them page by page. Each time she got ahead, her reward was a nap on the sofa. When we married, she selflessly interrupted her education in order to work while I completed mine. Originally a Home Economics major, she later switched to Elementary Education as her interest in working with children increased; however, after the death of Jeffery, her desire to know God in a more intimate way became the primary focus of her life. At the age of fifty, she fulfilled her dream by completing a degree in Biblical Studies.
While Coping with Alzheimer’s
The full devasting impact of this horrible disease is a gradual process, which is true of most dementias. In previous blogs, I have chronicled the progression as I helplessly watched Linda become a person I no longer knew. In the early stages, she was overwhelmed as she faced the changes taking place in her life, and was incapable of understanding why this was happening to her. Thankfully, while still having the cognitive powers to do so, she was able to submit her will, and ultimately her life, into the hands of God. This was not surprising to me because throughout our many years together, when faced with insurmountable problems or sorrow, her belief in the sovereignty, love, and goodness of God always prevailed. A guiding principle for her is seen in this admonition from the leader of the Jerusalem church:
My fellow believers, when it seems as though you are facing nothing but difficulties, see it as an invaluable opportunity to experience the greatest joy that you can! For you know that when your faith is tested it stirs up in you the power of endurance. And then as your endurance grows even stronger, it will release perfection into every part of your being until there is nothing missing and nothing lacking (James 1:2-4 TPT).
Now, let me return to the beginning and the thought I asked you to hold. In the years that I cared for Linda at home, I diligently prayed for her and sought to keep her connected to God and His Word. Nevertheless, her zeal for life and brilliant smile were seldom seen. Placing her in Legacy Village was the hardest decision I have ever made; however, it has proven to be one of my best. Surrounded by fellow travelers on the same journey, she is living in a world I can observe, and enter when she gives me permission. Furthermore, she is cared for by loving persons, called and gifted, who assist her in enjoying a purposeful life.
Ron Harvard Ministries 