In my previous blog, reflecting on the unpredictability of being a primary caregiver to an Alzheimer’s patient, I noted: “During the early years, I searched for useful materials to help me develop a plan of action and measure my progress. Even though I found some helpful sources, most were, as would be expected, painted with large strokes to cover the diversities of this horrible disease. At the end of the day, nothing has helped me as much as ‘Dwelling on the Good News,’ as it is presented in the form of timeless Truth.” Over three thousand years earlier, Solomon had made the case for my discovery:
The words of the wise are like goads, and masters of these collections are like driven nails; they are given by one Shepherd. But beyond this, my son, be warned: the writing of many books is endless, and excessive study is wearying to the body.
The conclusion, when everything has been heard, is: fear God and keep His commandments, because this applies to every person. For God will bring every act to judgment, everything which is hidden, whether it is good or evil (Ecclesiastes 12:11-14 NASB).
For me, the big question is, why did it take me so long to figure this out? After all, I had been a successful long-term pastor. Painfully, I now realize my concept of success, as well as that of my denomination, was in some ways more secular than spiritual; however, I was now facing a problem unlike any I had ever encountered. In the past, when facing hardships and suffering, Linda, my faithful ministry partner, had always been standing by my side. Now, all alone, I was facing a situation that could not be solved by human wisdom and methodology.
Impact of Suffering
When suffering comes knocking at the door, maintaining the status quo is not an option. Change will occur, positively or negatively, moving one into the heart of God, or causing bitterness and disillusionment. We are presently seeing this played out as a worldwide pandemic and unprecedented upheavals in nature threaten our way of life, and in some cases our very existence. Many are turning to God, while others are desperately clinging to what worked in the past and attempting to affix blame for what has gone wrong. Thankfully, God has used suffering to bring Linda and me closer to Him than we have ever been, while empowering me to effectively advocate for her now that she can no longer speak for herself.
Beauty of Brokenness
Brokenness does not equate to failure or despair; neither does it imply a lack of purpose. Linda has always enjoyed a challenge. The picture accompanying today’s blog, taken a few weeks ago, depicts her doing what she has always done – encountering difficulties and solving problems! Since then, the progression of the disease resulted in the need to upgrade her care from Level 2 to Level 3. I am uncertain as to how much the recent UTI exacerbated this progression; I am also uncertain as to whether there will be a temporary improvement once the infection has cleared up.
Moving to the present, a summary of last week’s visits gives insight into the joy we still share, even in what might seem to be hopeless circumstances: Overall, she seems to be moving more slowly, less desirous of walking, and often leaning back in her recliner and shutting her eyes while we sing love songs, fun songs, and the hymns she enjoyed as a child. Until recently, she was able to sing along with me, but now she mostly listens and occasionally says, “That is good!” Amazingly, considering my singing ability, she no longer tells me I am off key. In fact, she seems to truly appreciate my efforts. On Friday, while holding my hand, she said, “I love you so much!”
Hope for Eternity
Throughout Linda’s long journey into the unknown, her belief in the Sovereignty of God and His great love for her has remained constant. Quite often, she asks me if I have a mother. After answering, “Yes,” I usually tell her that my mother and father are now in Heaven, having a great time with Jesus; I then continue by listing other family members who are also waiting on our arrival. That list always includes her mother and father and our precious little Jeffery. Invariably, flashing her beautiful smile, she responds, “That is wonderful!” On Thursday, at the end of our visit, following my normal pattern before leaving her room, I thanked God for our time together and asked for His continuing care and provision for us. Closing by thanking Him that His Glory filled the room each night as she slept, I was blessed with her spontaneous heartfelt exclamation, “Praise God!”
Ron Harvard Ministries 