God marvelously prepares us for what lies ahead. Two years before Linda and I were married, in chapel, a classmate sang the old hymn, “God Leads Us Along.” I had no clue that its message would become foundational to my understanding of how God cares for his children and serve as a guide for Walking Victoriously Through the Long Goodbye.  The essence is summed up in the refrain:

Some through the waters, some through the flood,
Some through the fire, but all through the blood;
Some through great sorrow, but God gives a song,
In the night season and all the day long.

Since then, I have come to understand that the intense pressure created by difficult times enables one to truly value life, empathize with others and be equipped for service in the Kingdom of God.

Glimpses from the Last Three Months

September 21 – Linda is fond of giving me special gifts. Sometimes, it is the opportunity to hold one of her baby dolls. At other times, she may show me a picture in her room or hand me a brightly colored pillow she has “borrowed” from the main living area. Regardless, I am aware it represents the best she has to offer, and it is always very special! In the midst of a week filled with pacing the halls, stopping to clean table tops, picking up pillows and carefully placing them in new locations along the way, there was a momentary lifting of the fog. During our daily walk, she looked up at me and said, “I love you,” held my arm more tightly, and leaned her head against my shoulder. Back in her room, she again said, “I love you.” Overwhelmed with curiosity, I asked her, “Do you know who I am?” Surprisingly, she said, “Yes.” I followed up with, “Who?” She said, “My husband.” 

October 14 – When I ask Linda if she is happy, she consistently responds, “Yes”; however, when I arrived today, she was crying. After telling her how much she is loved, singing some of her favorite songs, and telling a couple of familiar stories, her beautiful smile appeared. Nevertheless, I knew that underlying confusion was just beneath the surface. Therefore, I asked her, “Why were you unhappy?” With confusion etched on her face, using a mixture of incomplete sentences while pointing with her fingers, she tried to tell me that things were chaotic. Taking a stab at interpreting, I asked, “Are you upset because you are trying to get your thoughts together and can’t?” Amazingly, a flash of understanding reflected in her eyes, as she said, “Yes.” I then reiterated a simple explanation I have often given when she could not figure out what was happening to her: “You have a disease which is causing you to have difficulty remembering things, but I promised I would take care of you, and I have.” We prayed; then, I walked with her for a while.

November 20 – For the past several days, Linda has been very disconnected: When playing balloon tennis, she seems confused over whether to hit the balloon with her hand or the nerf bat. When walking, she often guides the way with hand gestures and is willing to stop for only a moment to look at pictures. Today was different! Taking a moment to recognize me, she flashed her beautiful smile, came toward me with outstretched arms and gave me a hug. Holding both of her hands, I told her how much I loved her and she responded, “I love you.” Later, while watching cartoons, she asked me all the normal questions she used to ask, even though I had to fill in some of the missing words: “Where do you live?” “What do you do?” “Are you going to spend the night?” Near the end of our visit, I again told her, “I love you.” Even though her face was slightly twitching and there was a slight stutter in her words, her sweet and precious smile accompanied her response, “I love you.” 

What Does the Future Hold?

I treasure my visits with Linda because I know our time on earth is drawing to a close; at the same time, I rejoice because our time in Heaven is going to be wonderful beyond compare. God is always with us! Consider the truth of the second verse of “God Leads Us Along”:

Sometimes on the mount where the sun shines so bright,
God leads His dear children along;
Sometimes in the valley, in darkest of night,
God leads His dear children along.

During the best of times and the worst of times, “…we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28 NIV).