My decision to write a blog was not made suddenly. Rather, it grew out of an awareness that caregivers to those who suffer from Alzheimer’s, or related dementias, often suffer alone. If they dare to share their thoughts, they sometimes encounter embarrassing silence, an obvious desire to change the subject or, even worse, the ordeal of having to hear ad nauseum about the latest home remedy. Therefore, on August 2, 2020, armed with over a thousand pages of notes chronicling our “Long Goodbye,” I made my first stab at sharing the pain, warts and all, in light of God’s power to bring victory out of chaos.
Latest Challenge
While Linda was still living at home and I was trying to grasp that which I knew lay ahead, on two occasions, the Lord gave me very clear instructions:
- In the spring of 2017, He impressed upon my heart: “I love Linda more than you do. She is mine and you are to trust her to me.”
- In the summer of 2018, I asked, “What will I do without Linda? How will I survive?” He instructed me to change my focus from me (my loss) to her (Linda’s gain).
Despite the clarity of His intent, nine days into 2022, I find myself stumbling instead of swiftly running the race. Rather than giving shallow reasons for my situation, let me cut to the chase: I don’t want to let her go! It represents a ripping apart of fifty-eight years of dreams and aspirations. Furthermore, I am frustrated that, during this final leg of our journey into the unknown, once again COVID has made it impossible for me to spend quality time with her each day. I am aware that such an admission does not come across as being “super spiritual”; however, it accurately reflects the human dilemma found among the people of God throughout the Bible.
Thankfully, God never leaves us to our own devices, and He is very aware of my great desire to cease stumbling and once again start running. Two great truths provide guidance as I prepare myself for the remainder of my time with Linda on this earth and ultimately a celebration of her homegoing.
- God’s thoughts and ways are infinitely superior to those of humankind.
“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so my ways are higher than your ways
and my thoughts higher than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55: 8-9 NLT).
- God desires for me to live a transformed life in Christ.
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect (Romans 12:2 NLT).
Visiting Linda
Trying to explain to Linda, without making her feel rejected, why she cannot reach around the Plexiglas screen and touch me is a challenge which I hope to avoid. Therefore, praying that restricted visits will not last longer than the proposed two weeks, I am visiting her by Face Time. After initially expressing reticence upon seeing me on the little screen, she warmed up, and soon I was seeing her beautiful smile, especially when I sang, “Beautiful Girl from Richmond, Kentucky” and “Hey Good Looking.” I am very aware that none of this would be possible without the dedicated efforts of the entire Legacy Village team. In particular, at risk of sounding like a broken record, I once again want to express my appreciation for the nurses and caregivers. In the midst of a world often characterized by vitriolic discourse and biting sarcasm, despite the increased challenges imposed by COVID, as well as a nationwide shortage of workers, they continue to live out the ideals expressed by Christ. Simply put, they are amazingly wonderful!
Reason for Rejoicing
For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died. We tell you this directly from the Lord: We who are still living when the Lord returns will not meet him ahead of those who have died. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a commanding shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God. First, the believers who have died will rise from their graves. Then, together with them, we who are still alive and remain on the earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Then we will be with the Lord forever (1 Thessalonians 4:14-17 NLT).
Ron Harvard Ministries 