In last week’s blog, I noted, “…nine days into 2022, I find myself stumbling instead of swiftly running the race.” Thankfully, I am now once again running. Not yet swiftly; nevertheless, I am running and picking up speed. Interestingly, my circumstances did not change. In fact, the very thing I did not want to happen became reality. As my thoughts for today unfold, God’s power to bring victory out of chaos will be clearly seen. To get started, look at the picture accompanying today’s blog. Taken last Thursday, with the two of us separated by a distance of six feet and a Plexiglas screen, I am singing one of Linda’s favorite songs from the old Red Back Hymnal. Even though I am sure anyone who has ever heard me sing will experience disbelief, when I finished, she said, “That’s good!”
Getting Back on Track
During the last week of 2021, two residents at Legacy Village tested positive for COVID. Therefore, a proactive decision was made to restrict visitation for two weeks. In order to avoid trying to explain to Linda why reaching around the Plexiglas screen to touch me is not an option, I chose to Face Time until the two weeks were over. However, the rising COVID cases across our community made it necessary for restricted visitation to continue indefinitely. After expressing my disappointment to God, I realized that my view was myopic. He wants me to trust Him regardless and stand on a truth that has guided me for decades:
Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good (Romans 8:26- 28 MSG).
Enjoying His Presence
Physical pain, unrelenting stress, and fatigue can make spiritual cowards out of us. Reflecting upon the past several years, especially the last two, I realized that without Linda’s moderating influence, I had allowed the joy of simply being a child of the King to be replaced by the suffocating feeling that the weight of the world was resting on my shoulders; I had fallen back into the performance trap from which I had been delivered nearly three decades ago. God, acutely aware of our weaknesses and tendency to stumble, never leaves us to our own devices. In this case, aware of my desire to cease stumbling and once again start running, He orchestrated a series of events that brought the root cause of my problem to the surface and allowed me to grasp anew that His Grace is sufficient.
A Wonderful Gift
Sitting in the little room by the fish tank, waiting for Shelly, the Activities Director, to bring Linda down the hall, my emotions ran the gamut. Even though I had regularly Face Timed with her, this was the first time I had actually seen her in thirteen days. She was moving very slowly and smiled broadly when she saw me, but seemed confused when she could not touch me. After Shelly seated her across from me, she promptly closed her eyes and either dropped off to sleep or tuned the world out. After Shelly roused her, for the first few minutes of our visit, she was reserved and sometimes blankly stared as if looking at a stranger, and she may have been! Never sure what may connect with a past memory, I often try several approaches. As I told her stories about our life together, she gradually warmed up to me. When telling her about our children and their families, she was very attentive and on a couple of occasions, quietly responded, “That’s nice.” Expecting her to become distracted and walk off, I was surprised when she stayed with me for nearly forty minutes. For her, as well as me, the highlight of our time together was singing some of her favorite hymns. Near the end of our visit, she signaled that she wanted to rejoin her group. Upon assuring her that was fine, she said, “Okay, let’s go.” When I explained that I couldn’t go, she sat back down for a short while and then slowly stood up. I asked her, “Would you like to go?” She nodded and then gave me a wonderful gift. Placing her hand on the top of the screen, signaling that she wanted me to touch her but seemingly understanding that I couldn’t, she smiled and sweetly said, “I love you!”
Ron Harvard Ministries 