As I complete this three-part series, I once again want to emphasize my very personal feelings:
… the picture accompanying today’s blog accurately portrays my situation; I identify with the older man holding the hand of the love of his life. Surely, he is thinking that just above those thick clouds, the sun is brightly shining!
In my youth, as a member of the Boy Scouts of America, I learned and digested our motto: “Be Prepared!” Unconsciously, this mindset continues to impact my decision-making process. Throughout my adult life, while serving in various leadership roles, I have always sought to envision and prepare for that which is ahead; however, when Linda was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, I suddenly faced the greatest challenge of my life. The fact that she has never fit any of the normal profiles exacerbates the existing unpredictability of this horrible disease. Today’s blog illustrates two attempts to find a way to see that her needs are met, regardless of the obstacles encountered: On January 2, 2022, never wanting to be left to my own devices, I outlined a path forward in the midst of great uncertainty. With very minor revisions, I am reiterating that plan under “Anticipating the Future.” Then, not wanting the twists and turns of Alzheimer’s to catch me or my children flat-footed, I will share additional thoughts under “Circumventing Confusion.”
Anticipating the Future
In the history of God’s people, during a time, much like our generation, a single statement strikes at the heart of our need for God: “In those days Israel had no king; all the people did whatever seemed right in their own eyes” (Judges 21:25 NLT). Later, David, who was fully aware of his capacity for self-centeredness and failure, in Psalm 23, clearly identifies a path forward in the midst of great uncertainty.
We have been given everything necessary for God’s will to be accomplished in our lives.
“The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name” (vss. 1-3 NLT).
God’s blessings are upon us now, and someday we will be with Him forever.
“Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever” (vss. 4-6 NLT).
Circumventing Confusion
During my many years of serving as Linda’s primary caregiver, I have tried to prepare her, as well as myself, for that time when suffering shall give way to glorious healing. I recently read a statement by Robert Jefferies which describes my motivation for this work of love, “… what we do on earth today reverberates in the halls of heaven forever.” Even though I rejoice in what God has enabled me to do thus far, the events of recent months, especially the last two weeks, have forced me to reevaluate my reluctance to begin preparations for end of life care. Therefore, after prayerful consideration, I have chosen the Hearth Hospice team to assist her Primary Care Provider, the Legacy Village team, and me as she transitions from this life into the wonders of Heaven. Two factors were foundational to my decision:
Waiting until a crisis occurs will not be beneficial for Linda.
Proactively preparing for the inevitable will give Linda time to adjust to and, following her usual pattern, learn to love each member of her new team of caregivers. Likewise, the new team will have ample time to get to know Linda and establish a baseline for her present physical, emotional and cognitive capacities. This will enable them to more easily identify decline, provide effective care, and serve as a resource for understanding the process of dying.
Should I die first, my children will be better prepared to care for their mother.
In order to alleviate any anxieties regarding Linda’s care, our wonderful children have assured me that if I should be called home before their mother, her present quality of care would continue unabated. I believe them, but being aware of the many things that I do each day and knowing they live in three separate cities, I have been concerned about the negative impact this increased responsibility would have upon their own families. Now, having a registered nurse case manager, a social worker, and a certified nursing assistant added to the caregiving team eases my concerns.
Ron Harvard Ministries 