Although much of the material in today’s blog was originally published on March 28, 2021, significant revisions are now evident. Linda and I always knew that we were aging; however, we carefully crafted an image of what that would look like. One thing was certain: We would not be like those who had gone before us! Unconsciously, I suspect that we envisioned ourselves as the “Golden Sunset Couple” shown in the picture accompanying this blog. I now realize that we were living in a tension between illusion and reality.
Illusion
In 1977, married to the girl of my dreams with four precious children, recently assigned as pastor to a great church in Logansport, Indiana, and enrolled in graduate studies at Ball State University, my life could best be described as good and getting better. While traveling to classes in my new Pontiac and listening to country music (Give me a break; I was young!), I was captivated by six lines from Charlie Rich’s latest hit song:
Once was a thought inside my head
Fore I’d reach thirty I’d be dead
Now somehow on and on I go-o-o
I keep on rolling with the flow
I ain’t ever growing o-o-old
If I keep on rolling with the flow…
Nothing else in the song remotely resembled my life; however, two important things stood out: First, I was reminded of the hopelessness I had felt as a teenager before coming back to my boyhood faith in Christ. Secondly, I wanted my life, as I now knew it, to continue forever.
Even though Linda and I had a common illusion regarding aging, she never shared a defining moment with me; however, knowing her taste in music, I am quite certain that it would not have been influenced by “Rollin’ with the Flow”!
Reality
At this point, a question begs to be asked: What motivated our move from illusion to reality? A simple truth from an old Streams in the Desert devotion says it all:
The fairest alpine flowers bloom in the wildest and most rugged mountain passes, and the most magnificent psalms arose from the most profound agonies of the soul. May it continue to be!
Three seasons of suffering have impacted our nearly fifty-nine years of marriage: On July 27, 1978, our youngest son, four days before his seventh birthday, was killed by a car in front of our house. In 1994 -1995, I went through 18 months of depression. And now, for nearly 19 years, Alzheimer’s has been moving from a minor inconvenience to a disease that is robbing the love of my life of her personality, and will eventually take her life. Let me emphatically state that God did not cause our son’s death, He was not responsible for my depression, and He did not give Linda this horrible disease. All three result from living in a fallen world; however, in His infinite wisdom, He did allow each season of suffering to face my wife, my family, and me. Why? I cannot provide an answer; however, I can tell you that the Holy Spirit has become my best friend as I have incrementally grasped that I am inextricably connected to the Creator of the universe by His great love!
Recognizing the inevitable, I have tried to prepare Linda, as well as myself, for that time when suffering shall give way to glorious healing as she transitions from this life into the wonders of heaven. Presently, Hearth Hospice is assisting Linda’s Primary Care Provider, the Legacy Village team, and my family as we continue to victoriously walk through the “Long Goodbye.”
Hope
I am thankful that, in ways that defy human instrumentality, hope has forever erased the tension between illusion and reality!
That’s why I don’t think there’s any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what’s coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens.
All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy (Romans 18 :18 -25 MSG).
Ron Harvard Ministries 