Looking through family albums allows me to chronicle my life with Linda as it has unfolded over our long marriage. The picture accompanying today’s blog was taken in front of the little hotel where we stayed on Martha’s Vineyard in October 2012. At that time, Alzheimer’s was slowly moving from a minor inconvenience as I desperately sought to downplay my growing awareness that greater challenges were ahead. Even though memories of that trip bring me great joy, I must continually remember that successfully living in the present demands that I correctly connect my past with my future. The writer of Hebrews effectively framed this dynamic: “…faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1 NKJV). Simply put, faith is accepting as reality that which has not yet been revealed to the senses. So, what does that mean to me as I walk through the “long goodbye” with my precious wife? Three possibilities come to mind:
- If I allow my memories of the past to become greater than my dreams for the future, I will become a candidate for depression. Therefore, I must believe that God’s promise to Jeremiah also has implications for my life: For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for prosperity and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11 NASB).
- Grasping God’s ultimate purpose for my existence demands that I focus on eternity. No one has ever said it better than Paul:
I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back (Philippians 3 12-14 MSG).
- When I consider the horrible disease that’s slowly destroying Linda’s life, I am often tempted to become fearful. When that occurs, I must claim Paul’s admonition to Timothy as if it were spoken directly to me: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7 NLT).
Linda’s trademark smile and inward beauty have always impacted those who knew her. In January 2021, I received an email from a former parishioner. Excerpts from his message illustrate this reality:
We attended East Athens…while I was at UGA… We had just gotten married…Those were the happiest days of our lives…my wife’s father was a pastor…and you filled a large vacancy in her life by being our pastor after she left home… I also remember our Sunday school teacher, Linda, who had a brilliant smile and eyes that seemed to glisten when she smiled. Linda welcomed us into the church family with open arms. She was the epitome of grace, elegance and what it was to be a Godly woman.
Last Friday’s visit with Linda provides a framework for understanding my statement in the opening paragraph: “At that time, Alzheimer’s was slowly moving from a minor inconvenience as I desperately sought to downplay my growing awareness that greater challenges were ahead.” When I arrived, her face was chapped, the remnants of a recent snack covered the front of her outfit, and it was evident that she had been crying. Her demeanor bore little resemblance to the stylish seventy-one-year-old in front of the little hotel on Martha’s Vineyard. During our visit on the previous day, as she tenderly cared for her baby doll, I complimented her on being a great mother. In response, she joyfully flashed her beautiful smile and thanked me.
Even though I know that these mood swings are part of the disease, I still find them emotionally disturbing. Further complicating the issue, I am also aware that unless Linda dies from other causes, her present symptoms are but a harbinger of that which is yet to come. Conversely, it is encouraging to me that her God consciousness and awareness of Heaven are still largely intact. As her homegoing draws nearer, I am convinced that if she could articulate her thoughts, she would wholeheartedly agree with Paul:
For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing. (2 Timothy 4:6-8 ESV).
Ron Harvard Ministries 