The picture accompanying today’s blog tells a story and hints that another one is yet to come. Linda and her three sisters were preparing to sing at their parents’ fiftieth wedding anniversary on August 7, 1987. I did not fathom that thirty-five years later, the beautiful blue polka dot dress Linda was wearing would play a significant role in my struggle to connect my past with my future.
As early as February 2019, my journal entries indicate that my conflicting inner feelings were clamoring to be heard:
- At 6:00 am, overwhelmed with fear, I awakened from a troubling dream. I had been walking with Linda in a Florida orange grove. When I was distracted for a moment, she disappeared, and I realized that finding her in this setting would be like working my way through a maze. As I lay in bed and considered the hopelessness of my situation, I concluded that I must release her to God.
- Without the Holy Spirit, I cannot bear my pain; I continually pray that Linda will be free from fear.
In recent weeks, I have had two more dreams that seem to indicate I am making progress in my need to connect my past with my future:
- On May 23, I awakened with an exciting joyfulness: I had been at a big event and, while trying to find my way out of the bustle of the crowd, sensed that someone was behind me. Turning around, I saw Linda, attired in the beautiful blue polka dot dress that she had purchased to wear to the 1986 General Assembly of our denomination. She was stunningly beautiful and youthful; I reached out and hugged her to me. For several minutes after I got up, my mind continued to spin as I tried to make meaning out of what had just happened.
- On July 5, I awakened in the middle of the night and again realized that I had been dreaming about Linda. We were in a crowd, and even though I was aware that she was present, I could not see her. After a frantic search, I spotted her in the distance and ran to her. She was in her mid-forties and wearing that beautiful blue polka dot dress from all those years ago; however, it now had a large patch across the bottom of it. Overwhelmed, I poured my heart out to God, telling Him that I was distressed and that only He could comfort me.
So, what does all this mean? All too often, when discussing dreams, Christians seek for a spiritual meaning where none is to be found. In this case, I find it beneficial to follow a simple guideline that I have used throughout my adult life: When trying to understand human behavior, unless a scriptural mandate can be found, look for that which is most obvious.
Prudence Gourguechon, a former president of the American Psychoanalytic Association, provides additional insight: “…I see a dream as a way of preparing the mind for awareness at the very highest levels — of complex meanings, painful feelings, new possibilities…”
As I consider these three dreams (I am sure that there are more to come), a changing emphasis appears to be occurring:
- In 2019, the thought of losing Linda overwhelmed me with fear. At the same time, I wanted her to be free from fear. Thoughts of the future are missing.
- On May 23, memories of the life that I once had are clearly greater than my dreams for the future.
- On July 5, the large patch speaks to a growing awareness that the life that I once had is in the past and new possibilities are ahead.
Even though I firmly believe that successfully living in the present demands that I connect my past with my future, I must never lose sight of the fact that God’s ultimate purpose for my existence is in Heaven:
Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever (Revelation 22:1-5 NIV).
Ron Harvard Ministries 