Reflecting on the wonderful day that Linda and I enjoyed on July 27, I ended last week’s blog on a positive note: “… I cannot understand why, against the backdrop of so many painful memories, God chose to break the pattern and bring me such joy.”
Since then, after watching her struggle with recurring episodes of crying and physical imbalance, it has been helpful to review previous circumstances when I discovered God to be an ever-present help in times of trouble. Three in particular gripped my heart.
March 2020 — I fought unexpected battles:
- After inhaling dust while repairs to the ceiling of my townhouse were being made, I developed severe congestion, causing my medications to get caught in my throat and cut off my air supply. The next few minutes were a nightmare as I fought to breathe. I considered calling 911 and seriously wondered if I might die. Lingering effects lasted for several days.
- During Linda’s long journey with Alzheimer’s, she has remained physically healthy. That changed when her left foot inexplicably started swelling. After extensive lab work, X-rays and an echocardiogram, it was determined that she is developing mild heart failure.
- Due to the increase in COVID cases in our county, out of an abundance of caution, Legacy Village instituted a total lockdown. Not being able to see Linda exacerbated my feelings of aloneness.
Knowing that it was close to impossible to keep Linda off her swollen foot and worrying that all the extra things that I did for her each day might fall between the cracks, I was overwhelmed. Thankfully, the nurses and caregivers listened to my concerns, responded compassionately, and assured me that all her needs would be met.
December 2020 — After visitation was restored, while assisting with cleaning after Linda used the restroom, I noticed blood streaming from a spot near her rectum. After being taken to the Emergency Room, it was determined that she had an abscessed cyst. Blood work and a CT scan were ordered to measure the level of infection and depth of the cyst. The concern was that it might have expanded into the rectum. Fortunately, that was not the case; however, the cyst had to be lanced and cleaned. The impact of taking a person suffering from Alzheimer’s out of a familiar environment and subjecting her to examinations, injections, diagnostic machines and, worst of all, the pain of a scalpel cutting into a very private and sensitive part of her body is hard to explain:
- During the long hours in the hospital, Linda asked me the same questions over and over. She could not understand where she was or why she was there.
- In the midst of the mental fog, in the depths of her spirit, she seemed to grasp in a very unique way that I was special to her.
- As the doctor made the incision and drained the infection, I held her hand and assured her that the procedure had to be done for her to get better. While in great pain, she nodded her head in agreement.
- Numerous times during the night, she reached for my hand, told me that she loved me and, on one occasion, said, “You are my sweetheart.”
January and February 2021 – With visitation again suspended, fear knocked on my door when Linda tested positive for COVID. Thankfully, with the exception of reports of tiredness and observable sporadic lethargy, she came through surprisingly well, and I unrealistically expected a lull in the storm. That was not the case:
- After Linda complained of stomach pains, an X-ray revealed that she had developed an Ileus and was placed on a liquid diet for one week.
- A second X-ray revealed that the difficulty with her colon had not been resolved, and the liquid diet was continued for another week.
- Finally, an additional X-ray brought good news: Even though some gas was left in the colon, the Ileus had resolved. Therefore, Linda was placed on a soft diet for three days and then resumed a regular diet. Well over a year later, even though she has periodic bouts with impactions, the Ileus has never recurred.
In the picture accompanying today’s blog, I identify with the posture of the man who is praying. Long ago, I exhausted all my options; however, I experience renewal when I pray in the Holy Spirit, stay at the center of God’s love, and keep arms outstretched so that I may receive the mercy of Christ:
…dear friends, carefully build yourselves up in this most holy faith by praying in the Holy Spirit, staying right at the center of God’s love, keeping your arms open and outstretched, ready for the mercy of our Master, Jesus Christ. This is the unending life, the real life (Jude 20-21 MSG)!
Ron Harvard Ministries 