I am fascinated by the message depicted in the picture accompanying today’s blog. This couple is obviously intent on making sure they do not stray from the correct path and wind up at the wrong destination. In so many ways, they represent the approach to life that Linda and I adopted early in our marriage. An admonition from Solomon to his son served as a guiding principle for our journey through life: Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take (Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT).
Our map was the Bible, and we took very seriously the warning, as well as the reward, described by David, Solomon’s father, in a song that he wrote for the director of music:
The instructions of the Lord are perfect,
reviving the soul.
The decrees of the Lord are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.
The commandments of the Lord are right,
bringing joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are clear,
giving insight for living.
Reverence for the Lord is pure,
lasting forever.
The laws of the Lord are true;
each one is fair.
They are more desirable than gold,
even the finest gold.
They are sweeter than honey,
even honey dripping from the comb.
They are a warning to your servant,
a great reward for those who obey them (Psalm 19:7-11 NLT).
Did we sometimes take the wrong path? Yes, and very quickly we learned that the consequences were not fun! Thankfully, that was the exception and not the rule. Our life was a collaborative effort, and Linda’s impact on my spiritual growth, as well as on that of others, was great. Excerpts from a letter that I recently received from a friend sums it up well: “It’s difficult to put into words the impact this amazing woman has had on so many. She is not only physically beautiful; she radiates inner beauty…Because of her I was enlightened about Israel; her love for Israel made me love Israel. I knew a little about its importance but she opened my eyes to the mission and love that God has for His chosen people, and it changed me forever.”
After the entry of Alzheimer’s into Linda’s life, one of my toughest adjustments was no longer having her as my dialogue partner. A few facts about spoken language will provide insight into my dilemma. Beginning with infancy, the development of meaningful communication is a lifelong process. Therefore, an orderly progression in the development of spoken language can be observed: Words are associated with objects, places or persons. Sentences slowly develop as more objects, places or persons are included. Comprehension occurs when concepts and ideals enter the equation. Sadly, the development of Alzheimer’s stops all forward momentum and gradually moves the sufferer in reverse order back through the process.
- In the early or mild stage, the ability to clearly express thoughts is largely intact, and when a break occurs, it can be compared to the occasional static experienced while listening to the radio. At worst, it is a minor inconvenience, and in a few moments the confusion goes away.
- In the middle or moderate stage, breaks can be compared to the frustration of listening to the radio, and as a result of a weak signal, sentence fragments are lost. It is more than a minor inconvenience; nevertheless, with the assistance of a loving caregiver, the impact of the confusion can be lessened.
- Linda is now in in the late or severe stage, and breaks can be compared to a maddening situation often experienced when traveling. A closer radio station with a stronger signal replaces the station you are listening to, often at the most inopportune moment; and for a short time, you alternate between competing programming. Even with great effort, the confusion can no longer be cleared. For me, it is devastating to helplessly watch as she deals with the impact of confusion, unable to understand or tell anyone what is happening.
Let me hasten to add that in the midst of this time of great difficulty, the unfolding truth found in our map is still applicable, and I am certain that Linda would now, as she has in the past, heartily agree with Paul’s reminder: And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them (Romans 8:28 NLT).
Now, here is the great-grandchild update that I promised: Ocean Brisson Foskey was born on January 4, 2023. He, along with Kona Hawke Foskey, Emory Elizabeth Smith and Avery Nicole Smith, serves as living proof that God continues to answer prayers that Linda and I have prayed throughout our marriage.
Ron Harvard Ministries 