In last week’s blog, I noted that Linda’s struggle with Alzheimer’s has taught me how to successfully live in the present. Before then, my greatest hinderance was erroneously connecting my personal joy with the circumstances surrounding me — good times equal great joy, tough times equal great despair. Over time, in the crucible of suffering, I have grasped that true joy flows out of a relationship with Christ, regardless of how difficult our journey into the “Long Goodbye” may become as we await the healing that He has planned just for her. When sharing those thoughts, I had no idea how greatly my world would be shaken in the next few hours. Last Sunday afternoon, Linda fell and fractured her left femoral neck bone where it attaches to the hip socket. Even though I have grown accustomed to making decisions that we once made together, this was drastically different! I was forced to consider two very undesirable options and make the best decision under the circumstances: 

Surgery

Significant Challenges

• Linda’s age and the location of the fracture present a formidable challenge. 
• In the past, she was diagnosed with Osteopenia, which by now may well be Osteoporosis. 
• Moving her from a familiar environment into a series of frightening places and circumstances will exacerbate her existing anxieties. 
• Even if the surgery were successful, being put to sleep for an extended period of time will have a deleterious effect on her already diminished cognitive capacities. 
• Once released from the hospital, she will then have to be in physical rehabilitation for two months, with no ability to understand how to assist in her recovery.

Probable Outcome

• Without a miracle, she will never walk again.
• Her quality of life will decrease.

Natural Healing 

Significant Challenges

• She will have to be confined to bed and totally immobilized for six to eight weeks. 
• Keeping her pain under control increases the possibility of constipation which is already a constant battle. 
• Being unable to get out of bed and interact with other residents poses a risk of accelerating her confusion and anxiety.  
• Being unable to exercise increases the risk of damage to all her organs and bodily systems.

Probable Outcome

• Without a miracle, she will never walk again.
• Her quality of life will decrease.

Under normal circumstances, surgery would have been the obvious choice; however, nothing in this situation is normal. After seeking counsel from persons whom I love and respect and committing a seemingly impossible situation to God, I chose the course of natural healing. I will forever be grateful to the At Home Primary Care team, the Hearth Hospice team, and the Legacy Village team. Each one has gone far beyond all my expectations and ministered to Linda and me from a place that can best be described as the heart of God. 

As Linda lay sleeping two days ago, I whispered, “Honey, I wish that you could talk to me.” Suddenly, in my spirit, I heard a quiet still voice that has spoken to me many times in my adult life, “I AM here and I will talk to you!” Amazingly, even in the midst of great pain, God has once again revealed to me the truthfulness of His promises:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:4-7 NIV).

I recently awakened with a song that I first sang in my boyhood, “I Need Thee Every Hour,” on my mind. Since then, the lyrics have been the cry of my heart. Concerning its origin, the composer, Annie S. Hawks, stated, “For myself, the hymn was prophetic rather than expressive of my own experiences, for it was wafted out to the world on the wings of love and joy, instead of under the stress of personal sorrow.” My surprise in learning her motivation for writing such meaningful words was quickly replaced with rejoicing as I realized that in 1872, God knew her message of love and joy would serve me in my time of personal sorrow:

I need Thee ev’ry hour, Most Gracious Lord;
No Tender voice like Thine Can Peace Afford.

I need Thee ev’ry hour, Stay Thou nearby;
Temptations lose their pow’r When Thou art nigh.

I need Thee ev’ry hour, In joy or pain;
Come quickly and abide, Or life is vain

I need Thee ev’ry hour, Teach me Thy will;
Thy promises so rich, In me fulfill.

I need Thee ev’ry hour, Most Holy One;
O make me Thine indeed, Thou blessed Son!