Upon beginning this three-part series, I noted that the obvious intentionality etched on Linda’s face in the accompanying picture, which was taken on January 13, was at odds with so much that has transpired since that time. I had no idea how quickly that comparison would be rendered obsolete. Today, I will share my thoughts under four main headings:

Reassessing the Journey

In an earlier blog, while attempting to accurately describe our journey into the “Long Goodbye,” I noted, “Linda is being carried along, as if by the current of a strong river.”  I saw myself as helplessly trying to keep up. After much reflection, I have come to believe that a better analogy would be to think in terms of the two of us being on a very long hike with her having no idea where the path would lead and I frantically trying to figure out what awaits us around the next bend. Having been accustomed, by mutual consent, to my taking the lead, both of us have had our world turned upside down: With ever-increasing confusion, she looks into my eyes searching for answers which I do not have; I, even though well-acquainted with the overall contours of Alzheimer’s, find myself desperately trying to keep abreast of the changes, sometimes hourly, in her life.

Daily Challenges

Two weeks ago today, Linda fell and fractured her hip. Since that time, everyone involved in caring for her has coordinated their efforts around the following objectives:

Provide an environment which facilitates natural healing of the fractured bone: She now has a hospital bed and is being stabilized by a Hip Abduction Foam Support Pillow. Additionally, Hearth Hospice has increased the number of her assigned weekly visits and serves as a resource in helping all of us understand and minister to her specialized needs. 

Provide balance in keeping her pain under control: Considering the long battle that she has fought with constipation, precipitated by an Ileus which developed during the pandemic, this balance is no small task. The Legacy Village nurses continually walk a thin line as they attempt to keep her pain under control without her becoming so drowsy that she is unable to eat or drink the nourishment that her body requires.

Strive to see that her emotional and spiritual needs are met:  Hoping that she will be able to see it while lying in bed, Bob, our son-in-law, is replacing her television with one that has a larger screen. With assistance from maintenance personnel, the soothing Christian music constantly played in the background throughout the facility can now be heard in her room. Linda’s beloved Activities Director reads her a story each day. The Chaplains make regular visits to her room. And, my family and I are involved in assisting her with meals. 

Special Moments

Renewal of a memory from long ago: On Wednesday, arriving before she had awakened for breakfast, I was deeply touched to find her cradling her baby doll in her arms. Transported back through the decades, my mind was flooded with vivid images of her as a young mother sleeping with one of our infants.

Receiving affirmation for my singing: After retiring from the pastorate, Linda and I have enjoyed singing from the old Red Back Hymnal. Now that she is confined to bed, I sing and she, usually with eyes closed, listens and seldom gives a response. Thursday was different: When singing “Jesus Loves Me,” I personalized it as follows:

Jesus loves Linda! this she knows, For the Bible tells her so;
Little ones to Him belong, They are weak, but He is strong.

Jesus loves Linda! He who died, Heavens gates to open wide;
He will wash away her sin, let His little child come in.

Jesus loves Linda! loves her still, Tho’ she’s very weak and ill;
From His shining throne on high, Comes to watch her where she lies.

Upon finishing, I said, “Was that good?” She had kept her eyes closed throughout, but she suddenly opened them and, with a big smile, animatedly nodded, “Yes!” Then, she immediately closed them again. Anyone who has ever heard me sing knows that requires special grace.

Wonderful Promise

David’s troubles were very different from Linda’s and mine; however, the message being presented in this Psalm is applicable across circumstances:

Though I am surrounded by troubles, you will bring me safely through them. You will clench your fist against my angry enemies! Your power will save me. The Lord will work out his plans for my life – for your loving-kindness, Lord, continues forever. Don’t abandon me – for you made me (Psalm 138: 7-8 TLB).

Reflecting on this great truth, Aphra White succinctly summarizes its essence: “The center of trouble is the place where He preserves us, not the place where He fails us.”