Prior to Linda’s developing Alzheimer’s, I thought I was prepared to help others understand what happens between birth and death. However, after helplessly watching normal growth and development be reversed as she has slowly moved toward infancy, I am humbled by how little I know! At this point in our journey into the “Long Goodbye,” there are two truths which I unequivocally offer to caregivers and families of Alzheimer’s patients: Follow with your heart as your loved one teaches you wonderful lessons that cannot be learned apart from suffering. And, as the lights of this world grow dimmer for your loved one, allow God to make the lights of Heaven grow brighter for you.
Prophetic Words
Throughout our many years together, Linda, regardless of her own success in ministry, always considered her role as my helpmate to be her first priority. This mindset was vividly illustrated a few years after I retired from pastoring and had resumed teaching at Lee University Online. At that point, she was still able to sit and quietly read while I struggled to overcome the technological deficiencies that I so keenly felt. One day, sensing that I might be feeling that life had passed me by, and that my best days were behind me, she excitedly cried out, “Ronnie, this scripture is for you:”
The righteous will flourish like a palm tree; they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; planted in the house of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God. They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green, proclaiming,“The Lord is upright; he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him” (Psalm 92:12-15 NIV).
Looking back, I had no idea how prophetic her words would prove to be. From then until now – I turned eighty yesterday – God has steadily expanded my understanding of the scope and shape of fruitful ministry and opened doors of service that I had never considered.
Clarification of Priorities
Suffering will never leave you where it found you. You will be drawn closer to God and become of greater value in His Kingdom, or you will become bitter, discouraged, and a hinderance to those around you. Linda and I chose to embrace suffering and become candidates for transformation so that we might be governed by His eternal truth.
Linda – In the past week, our children and I have watched as Linda, in a loud, stuttering cough tried to tell us, to no avail, how she felt. Conversely, while listening to a hymn describing Heaven, she said, “That is good!” I have no way of knowing how much longer Linda will be with us; however, I would be in complete denial to not realize that the end of her battle with Alzheimer’s is drawing nearer. That is not a bad thing! The Message translation of I Corinthians 15: 54-55 summarizes the end of her journey in unforgettable terminology:
In the resurrection scheme of things, this has to happen: everything perishable taken off the shelves and replaced by the imperishable, this mortal replaced by the immortal. Then the saying will come true:
Death swallowed by triumphant Life!
Who got the last word, oh, Death?
Oh, Death, who’s afraid of you now?
Ron — Linda’s suffering continues to serve as a catalyst for my spiritual growth. If I am ever tempted to feel sorry for myself – which is often – I am reminded of the price that she has paid. My friend Bob Crick, reflecting on his journey with his wife Jeanette, who also suffered with Alzheimer’s and is now with the Lord, provided profound insight: “For us it is but a short time; for them it is twenty-four hours a day.” The picture accompanying today’s blog reflects my desire to embrace aging, be willing to ask questions, and continue to grow, as I fulfill Linda’s prophetic words over my life.
Eternal Destiny
Even though the locale, scenario, and destination are dissimilar, considering Linda’s reverse journey through the life span, the chorus from a Waylon Jennings song captures the essence of what is taking place in her life on earth:
Singing old church hymns and nursery rhymes,
From the days way back before my time,
With a little child upon my knee,
Singing every sweet word back to me,
Look how far I had to come,
To get back where I started from,
With a child’s wisdom passin’ time,
Singing old church hymns and nursery rhymes.
Thankfully, the story does not end there. Therefore, it would be unthinkable for me to omit the far greater importance of what is taking place in light of eternity: As the lights of this world grow dimmer for Linda, God is making the lights of Heaven grow brighter for her, and me!
Ron Harvard Ministries 