Throughout our journey into the “Long Goodbye,” trying to determine at any given time where Linda is in her struggle with Alzheimer’s could be compared to the complexities of hitting a moving target. Notes compiled from my journal illustrate this assertion:
October 16, 2017 – Just before noon, Linda was transported from Erlanger North to what I thought would be her new home. Throughout the afternoon, I was troubled in my spirit and later learned that my daughters were also. In the early evening, I felt an overwhelming prompting from the Holy Spirit to go check on her. When I arrived, a nurse met me in the lobby and said, “I was just about to call you. Linda is experiencing shortness of breath and not responding.” When I saw her, she was sitting erect with her eyes closed and unable to speak. I carried her back to the emergency room at the hospital she had left that morning. Her lab work, CT scan and EEG revealed nothing abnormal. She awakened in about twenty minutes, recognized me, and after further evaluation was dismissed. I went back to the facility, picked up her medicine for the next two days, clothes for the night, and told them I was taking her home and would let them know the next day what my intentions were. She did not return!
April 18, 2022 — In the early afternoon, I received a call informing me that although Linda’s vital signs were good, she could not stay awake. When I arrived, despite repeated efforts, I could not awaken her. Shortly thereafter, a nurse from Hearth Hospice arrived, and after a thorough evaluation, determined that it could be several things including a stroke or mini-stroke. A decision was made to stop all food, water, and medicine and see what happened in the next two days. Several hours later, while most family members were out of the room, she opened her eyes, looked at me, and smiled. I said, “Hello Beautiful” and sang, “You are my Sunshine.” Returning to a deep sleep, she breathed rhythmically and did not respond to requests to squeeze my hand. Around 5:30 am, she awakened and said, “I need to go to the bathroom.” When the caregivers arrived, she, with their assistance, walked to the bathroom. Then, upon completion of her morning bath, I escorted her to the Theatre Room and waited for the nurse from Hearth Hospice to arrive. Needless to say, he was amazed at the change which had taken place. Therefore, instructions were given for her normal regimen of food, water, and medicine to resume.
January 29, 2023 — Linda fell and fractured her left femoral neck bone where it attaches to the hip socket. Even though I have grown accustomed to making decisions that we once made together, this was drastically different! I was forced to consider two very undesirable options and make a painful decision. Under normal circumstances, surgery would have been the obvious choice; however, nothing about this situation was normal. After seeking counsel from persons whom I love and respect and committing a seemingly impossible situation to God, I chose the course of natural healing.
Today, May 7, 2023, marks fourteen weeks since that eventful day and her body is signaling that she is nearing the end of her struggle – manifesting problems with swallowing, intermittent crying, and resisting food and water. Making her as comfortable as possible continues to be a top priority. She is undergoing passive resistance exercises to promote strengthening and flexibility of her muscles in hope that the pain might be lessened. And, her scheduled time and dosage of medicines are being adjusted as needed.
Throughout the past week, she has been all over the board with her behavior — sleeping a great deal, eating very little, and, on several occasions, could not be awakened to take prescribed medicines. On Tuesday morning when I entered the room and greeted her with, “Hello Baby Doll,” she responded (very slurred and quiet, but understandable), “You are my Baby Doll!” Within ten minutes, as I attempted to feed her, she became agitated, gave me a withering look, and started stuttering/coughing. It was her way of saying, “You’re crossing the line – BACK OFF!”
During each of my visits, I make it a point to softly fill the room with the sound and message of a Gaither video, How Beautiful Heaven Must Be. Having lived with Linda for nearly sixty years, I’m very aware of her appreciation for, and identification with, the words of a humble shepherd whom God promoted to become the king of Israel:
Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever” (Psalm 23:6 NLT).
Ron Harvard Ministries 