My Faith Journey

On June 4, 2023, twelve days after my precious wife Linda went home to be with her Lord, in the final installment of Walking Victoriously Through the “Long Goodbye,” I noted, “At the forefront of my thinking is a simple question: How do I (alone) continue the legacy that we (together) have developed in nearly sixty years of marriage?”

Ten months later, on April 7, 2024, I wrote my first installment of Living Victoriously after the “Long Goodbye.” By then, that original question had been enfolded into what has proven to be a quest to understand and put into words my faith journey. Foundational to that pursuit is the reality that faith is a process that cannot be grasped apart from trust:

Developing Trust

With the exception of a five-year period of rebellion in my early teens, I have endeavored to walk with God, and have found Him to be a loving Father who wishes to reveal Himself to His children in order that they might trust Him. Primarily, this takes place as we read His Word and apply the lessons revealed through the lives of the well-known, lesser-known, and even unknown characters such as those listed in Chapter 11 of the letter to the Hebrews. He also guides us as we enjoy fellowship with Jesus Christ and become aware of the Holy Spirit’s role in providing deep inner peace about the Father’s will for our lives. Additionally, as we mature and increasingly surrender our will to His will, He guides us by planting compulsions and desires in our heart.

Finally, and by far the most difficult to accept, He leads by taking us places where we do not want to go. This is clearly demonstrated in the lives of Job, Joseph, Esther, Daniel, and Paul. Isaiah, in a moving prophetic pictorial of the ministry of Jesus Christ to Israel and ultimately all the nations of the world, illustrates this truth in a simple phrase, “…in the shadow of his hand, he hid me” (49:2).  F.B Meyer, illuminating the issue at hand, and thankfully speaking to my faith journey, states: “In the shadow” – each of us must go there sometimes. But fear not! It is the shadow of God’s hand. He is leading you, and there are lessons that can be learned only where He leads.

All-Encompassing Trust

Throughout my life, on numerous occasions, as I have moved from Knowing about God to Knowing God, through quiet, soft impressions on my heart, the Holy Spirit has specifically spoken to issues that were troubling me. However, I would be remiss if I failed to address the more disconcerting issue. Therefore, I want to reference two times when God went beyond quiet, soft impressions on my heart and spoke loud and clear commands. Again, not an audible voice; however, His intent was clear — there was no ambiguity!

Summer of 1978 — On the day when our young son Jeffery was killed, I presented an intentional plan to God: “I am going to lay aside my pain and attempt to comfort all my family; however, after they have all gone to bed tonight, I must have some answers.” After everyone was finally asleep, I knelt in our small master bathroom and presented my lament: “I have faithfully followed You and never asked for an explanation in order to obey, but this is different!” I was stunned by His response, and it took me years to understand that He was preparing me for all-encompassing trust: “You have never needed an explanation to trust me – and you do not need one now!” Later, even though I did not like what I had heard, as I slipped into bed beside Linda, I sensed His presence and felt His great love.

Spring of 2017 – While Linda was sleeping in the other end of the house, I was on my face in a hallway praying that she would be healed. Suddenly, God very clearly impressed upon my heart, “I love Linda more than you do. She is mine, and you are to entrust her to me!” Over the next six years, I slowly realized that God had a much grander plan for her future, as well as mine: He was going to heal her, but not on this earth; He did not intend to waste our collective pain and tears. Rather, in the final chapter of my life, He was birthing a ministry to the families of Alzheimer’s sufferers.

The picture accompanying today’s blog was taken less than five years after the end of World War ll. Surrounded by my family, I am the little boy shyly peeking out from underneath my hat. If I had known what lay ahead, I doubt that I would have had the courage to even open my eyes!