If Linda were still with me, last Sunday we would have celebrated our sixty-second wedding anniversary. Instead, I was alone. Unable to go to church because of debilitating pain in my back, I was very vulnerable to “stinking thinking.” Having been down that road before and knowing the outcome, I chose to take another path and adhere to one of my favorite truisms: Pain is inevitable — Misery is optional. Therefore, over the next three days, I reviewed the reasons why our nearly sixty-year marriage was so fulfilling. In previous blogs, I have outlined the essentials. Today, I am going to add additional details.
Let’s back up to June 1963. Linda and I were to be married in Richmond, Kentucky, in two short months; with 1679 miles separating me from seeing her beautiful face and smelling her sweet perfume, I needed reassurance that I was following the will of God, and not just my own desire. Therefore, I climbed up a mountain outside Salt Lake City, Utah, earnestly prayed and searched the Scriptures. I will forever remember the clear directions that I received from Psalm 128:
“Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord; that walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee. Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table. Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the Lord. The Lord shall bless thee out of Zion: and thou shalt see the good of Jerusalem all the days of thy life. Yea, thou shalt see thy children’s children, and peace upon Israel” (vss.1-6 KJV).
Now, I usually read from a more recent translation; however, on that day, God used the beauty of old English to establish the framework for our life, marriage, and family:
Life Together Would Be a Team Effort.
In the early years, that was more easily said than done. My attention to detail and her spontaneity blended like oil and water. Over time, especially after the children were grown and we could think clearly, it became obvious that her spontaneity prompted fun moments that I would have passed over and formed the basis for so much joy during the holidays. Conversely, my attention to detail allowed us to plan and complete projects that were necessary to success.
Family Would Be Our Top Priority.
As a boy, I remember hearing my pastor say that his ministry came first and family came second. None of his children followed Christ. Before our children were born, Linda and I determined that we would avoid that mistake. Now, though not perfect, each member of our family is committed to Christ. Additionally, as promised on that mountain in 1963, over the past three- and one-half decades, we have been blessed to see our children’s children. Today, we have a growing family of 25 descendants. I like to think of Linda looking down from Heaven and cheering me on as I welcome wonderful bonus blessings — our grandchildren’s children — six and counting. Accompanying this blog is a picture of the two that I get to see the least, Kona and Ocean Foskey; however, the distance between us in miles does not diminish my love for them!
We Would Adhere to a Biblical Worldview.
Foundational to our beliefs, is the reality that out of all the nations on earth, God chose Israel to bring redemption to humankind. Even though I academically grasped this truth early in my ministry, at best, it was polite adherence. With Linda, it was an entirely different matter; she grasped it at the very core of her being, and her zeal in making it known, especially to me, can best be understood in terms of the widow and the unjust judge. Rather, than risk being beaten black and blue, I began to listen with my heart. Obviously, I am relating this somewhat in jest; however, in reality, I have moved from polite adherence to wholehearted commitment. From an earthly perspective, if she were aware of the rising antisemitic hatred seen throughout the world, she would be heartbroken. At the same time, her rejoicing over the prophetical implications for the return of Christ would be immense.
Changing Circumstances Are a Fact, Not a Probability.
True happiness is found when we embrace life as a process, fear God, live out His precepts, and love that which He loves. As a family, all of this was challenged when Alzheimer’s slowly took away Linda’s ability to be the glue that held us together. We could have easily succumbed to “stinking thinking.” Instead, we chose to continue following those clear directions received on the mountain in 1963; God has honored His promises and brought overflowing blessings out of what could have been chaos!
Ron Harvard Ministries 