On August 28, 2022, three days before our fifty-ninth wedding anniversary, in my post, “Celebrating Abundant Life,” I noted: “Recently, a new appreciation of this milestone has captured my attention. It cannot be understood apart from Jesus’ clearly drawn distinction between two opposing realities: The thief’s purpose is to steal, kill and destroy. My purpose is to give life in all its fullness (John 10:10 TLB). From the very beginning of our marriage, Linda and I had a choice: We could yield to Satan’s purpose and live a spiritually impoverished existence, or we could yield to Christ’s purpose and enjoy life in all its fullness. We chose life! In previous blogs, I painted a picture of what such a marriage looks like. On our anniversary, Linda and I will not be celebrating the absence of heartache, pain, discomfort, and sorrow. Rather, we will celebrate that God’s grace has enabled us to be overcomers regardless of the difficulties.”
A year after Linda’s death, in an effort to not repeat past mistakes, in my May 5, 2024, post, “Good Grief,” I outlined a plan for going forward:“Any attempt to compare our grief with that experienced by others can rob us of healthy reconciliation that leads to wholeness. Each person’s individual uniqueness is very important and must be given careful consideration in the grieving process. When our little son Jeffery was killed in 1978, I attempted to grieve according to the stated criteria and well-meaning expectations of others. After fifteen years of frustration, my pent-up feelings demanded to be heard, and I wound up struggling through eighteen months of depression. Determined to not repeat that mistake, I am giving myself permission to express the full range of emotions associated with mourning.”
Wake-Up Call
Today, I wish I could say that I adhered to my plan going forward; however, that is not the case! Old habits are hard to break, and possessing several Type A personality traits exacerbated my difficulties. Unwittingly, I resumed my tendency toward perfectionism, ignored my feelings, sought to meet the needs of others, and forgot that I am living in an aging body. Since Linda’s death, I have had four major surgeries and several less invasive medical procedures. During the recent holiday season, I began to detect that my pent-up feelings were demanding to be heard. Thankfully, I clearly heard the message and put together a plan to avoid disaster: I am now spending time with a capable and trusted dialogue partner, setting more realistic goals, and establishing guidelines for staying on course as I move toward my final destination.
A Divine Appointment
Last Sunday evening, one of the small groups that I attend had an unexpected opportunity to host two Jewish Rabbis from Jerusalem. As Rabbi Pesach Wolicki masterfully taught God’s intent for His people to enjoy a day of rest, I grasped that this was for me a Divine Appointment. Then, Rabbi Mark Fishman described how he celebrates the Jewish Sabbath by turning off all cell phones, mentally shutting out the distractions of life, and spending quality time with God and his family. Together, they challenged us as Christians to set aside a day of our choice as a time for laying aside the cares of life and giving ourselves time to be with God and family. Later in the week, my mind went back to my childhood, and I vividly remembered seeing my father on Sunday afternoon sitting on the front porch and reading his Bible before returning to church for Evening Worship. Just reflecting on that simpler lifestyle creates within me a desire for rest.
My Final Destination
After the death of our little son Jeffrey, Linda and I sought to better understand his new home and questioned how he was acclimating to his new existence. Almost all of our thoughts flowed out of an adult vision of Heaven. Years later, influenced by the fertile imaginations of Ted Dekker and Bill Bright in Blessed Child, we began to conceptualize Heaven as seen through the eyes of a child. A place where our five senses, freed from the sinful entrapments of earth and enhanced by the reality of living in a glorified body, would be able to experience in heretofore unimaginable ways the joy of seeing, smelling, hearing, tasting, and touching the eternal home which God has prepared for His children. While completing my doctoral studies at Erskine Seminary, I remember asking Loyd Melton, one of my favorite professors, to describe Heaven. His response has never left me: “I am going to be more alive than I have ever been!” With Linda now reunited with Jeffery, my goal is to restfully enjoy all that God has for me during the remainder of my journey on earth and at His appointed time enter the wonders of Heaven.
Ron Harvard Ministries 