Last Monday, my granddaughter Taylor sent me a note: “Throughout the weekend, I have continued to think about Grandma and the memories I have of her. I’ve thought about how my girls won’t know her in the same way… I jotted down my thoughts and reflections to put in their memory boxes so they will always have my version of Grandma.”
Wife, mother, homemaker, yeast roll perfectionist, Dillard’s regular, seamstress, and pastor’s wife are just a few of the titles that she held, but to her grandkids and great- grandkids, she was Grandma.
She was gentle and kind. She was warm, funny, stubborn, fun, classy, playful, and stylish. She was humble, compassionate, and intelligent. She looked to serve the least of those among us, and did so with such grace and empathy.
Grandma loved her family, Grandad, and the Church. She pulled out the best in people and could move Heaven with her prayers. Together, she and Grandad prayed fervently for their children and their spouses, and for the future families of their grandchildren. When I look at my family, I fully believe that we are a direct result of the prayers of Grandma and Grandad, and the goodness of God.
Grandma proudly wore the title of pastor’s wife for the better part of her life, and she took pride in actively walking with Grandad as he lived out his calling as a Church of God pastor. She believed strongly in the church, even though she saw the hurt and pain that could come from it.
Grandma loved to shop. The saleswomen in the Dillard’s shoe department knew her by name, and she would proudly introduce us when we were with her. She loved pink, yellow, and turquoise; and her shirt was always tucked in, even with her pajamas.
She loved a cookie at the mall and hot French fries from McDonald’s.
She was an extremely talented seamstress and decorator. Her home was always perfectly designed, but not so perfect that we couldn’t play. She would play games with us, make up stories, and made sure that we had the best time at Grandma’s house.
I can see her now at the Buford house putting towels down over the kitchen chairs and laying out a paper towel placemat so we could eat chocolate chip cookies at the table. She made the best cookies and would always let us have a bite of cookie dough, but never without the caveat, “just one bite because this stuff isn’t good for you.” Her fridge was always filled with caffeine-free Coke, her pantry stocked with Styrofoam cups, and M&M’s were never more than an arm’s reach away.
Her Christmas trees were works of art. They were well-thought out, masterfully designed and always real!
Grandma loved the Lord with all her heart, and daily sought to be more like Him. She consciously made time to seek Him every day in a real and intimate way so that she could be the wife, mother, and grandmother she was called to be.
As she now worships with the angels, she leaves with us a legacy of righteousness, joy, and peace in the Holy Spirit.
As I visited Linda’s grave this week, I talked with her about our very different existence – she in Paradise and I on earth. Don’t panic — I was not expecting her to contribute to the conversation! I was merely continuing a practice that I have engaged in for the past forty-five years – our little son Jeffery’s grave is less than fifty feet away.
At the forefront of my thinking is a simple question: How do I (alone) continue the legacy that we (together) have developed in nearly sixty years of marriage? In Last Sunday’s blog, “Safe in the Arms of Jesus,” I promised, “Next week, I will publish the final installment of Dementia: Walking Victoriously Through the ‘Long Goodbye,’ and let you know my future plans.”
Presently, I am emotionally and physically tired and facing knee replacement surgery; however, I am certain that God does not want Linda’s or my tears to be wasted. By the fall, I expect to be running on all cylinders again. In the meantime, I am developing two manuscripts that I hope to publish in book form, continuing my role as an adjunct faculty member at Lee University, and searching for ways to expand my ministry to the spouses and families of those who suffer from dementia.
All of the blogs that I have published in the past one hundred and forty-nine weeks will continue to be available and I prayerfully request that you direct suffering persons to my website (ronharvardministries.com), which I will be updating over the summer.
Ron Harvard Ministries 