After my precious wife Linda went home to be with the Lord on May 23, 2023, in the final installment of Walking Victoriously Through the “Long Goodbye,”I noted, “At the forefront of my thinking is a simple question: How do I (alone) continue the legacy that we (together) have developed in nearly sixty years of marriage?” For the next several weeks, as I reflected on that question and experienced a sense of relief after years of consuming and relentless stress, I felt as if I were continually in the presence of God. Therefore, I concluded that my grieving process would be shortened and less intense. I could not have been more incorrect!
Painful Disruption
Near the beginning of July, after family and friends had returned to their normal routines, reality came crashing down and I felt an aloneness I had never known. I cannot describe how much that I missed Linda as I struggled with a plethora of disturbing thoughts: Do I want to live? If so, can I make it through the pain? What will my new life look like? Can I make a meaningful contribution to my family, my church, and the larger whole of society? If this were not enough, my discomfort was exacerbated by the fact that before Christmas I had to undergo two major surgeries. Solomon’s wisdom as a model for facing the uncertainties of life took on greater meaning: Never brag about the plans you have for tomorrow, for you don’t have a clue what tomorrow may bring to you (Proverbs 27:1 TPT). It would be disingenuous for me to say that I now have it all figured out; however, I can truthfully say, that even though I have my moments, I am making great progress!
Wonderful Intervention
The picture accompanying today’s blog, first used in the November 27, 2022, installment, “Reassessing the Journey,” evokes feelings with which I am very familiar and am experiencing at this very moment! Since becoming a primary caregiver to my wonderful wife, I never remember being absolutely certain that I knew what was coming next; however, I am learning to walk in the assurance that God does not want Linda’s or my tears to be wasted and that He has promised to be with me always.
At the end of the day, nothing has helped me as much as “Dwelling on the Good News,” as it is presented in the form of timeless Truth:
Keep your thoughts continually fixed on all that is authentic and real, honorable and admirable, beautiful and respectful, pure and holy, merciful and kind. And fasten your thoughts on every glorious work of God, praising him always. Put into practice the example of all that you have heard from me or seen in my life and the God of peace will be with you in all things (Philippians 4:8-9 TPT).
The promise, “and the God of peace will be with you in all things,” covers everything in my life thus far, as well as all the unknown twists and turns which are yet to come.
Exciting Opportunity
Over the years, the co-founders of Legacy Senior Living and Dominion Senior Living have consistently looked for and researched ways to support the families of residents who suffer from the storms of memory loss. In January 2024, their desire intersected with my academic background and on-the-job training.
My introduction to Alzheimer’s was personal, very painful, and disruptive to everything in my life. In the fall of 2003, I recognized the beginning signs of memory loss in my wife Linda. Fifteen years later, she became a resident of The Harbor at Legacy Village of Cleveland and went to be with her Lord in May 2023. During the last two years of this long ordeal, two things gradually became very clear to me: My academic background was being greatly enhanced by on-the-job training, and secondly, God was preparing me to serve families going through similar situations. In January 2024, I became the Director of Alzheimer’s Support Services for Legacy Senior Living and Dominion Senior Living. Linda would be very pleased to know that her life story is foundational to this new and exciting program that is providing direction and comfort to an often-forgotten group of people, the families of those who suffer as they watch their loved ones gradually lose their memories, personalities, and ultimately their lives. I consider it an honor and a privilege to have the opportunity to meet and interact with so many fellow travelers who find themselves going through the heartbreak and desperation that defined my life for so many years.
Ron Harvard Ministries 